A Good Pasture Does Not Let A Regretful Horse Eat
I’m a good horse that will never turn round to graze on an old pasture.
Since returning from my parental home, the feelings between Han Lei and I could even be said to have been rapidly escalated, everyday was super sweet, this guy looked for different excuses everyday to kidnap me into his office to kiss, of course, it was during lunch breaks or when work was not busy.
Today, just a moment ago, we reluctantly parted our kiss at the company’s parking lot, and now, after only a few hours, a call from Han Lei summoning me to his office again.
I walked into the elevator with a sweet smile, realizing that I was becoming more and more like a summoned beast, as long as he called, I will immediately appear in front of him, nothing to be done, who told him to be my immediate boss.
Han Lei’s personal male secretary, Qin Hao, still wasn’t fond of me, but after witnessing the big-breasted, sexy temptress being repelled by Han Lei’s words without a hint of pity, he seemed to have considered me as a united comrade-in-arms. But because I was a woman, therefore on conditioned reflexed he still treated me cold not warm. Actually, he has been distinctly more friendly towards me now, only cold-shoulders, not cold words.
After entering Han Lei’s office, I discovered that there was another man apart from him.
That man stood in front of the big floor-to-ceiling windows with his back facing me, seemed as if he was earnestly admiring the heavy flow of traffic outside the window.
His rear view was very lofty, very graceful, and very familiar.
When that figured turned to face me, and when I saw that familiar smile, I blanked.
This person was handsome, slightly older than Han Lei, in his early thirties, his whole body exuding a mature, steady charm, smiling gently and happily.
I never imagined that we would one day meet each other again, but didn’t expect that we would meet each other again like this.
Han lei, as before, introduced us with a friendly smile, “This is Lin Zhe, Mr. Lin, is our new client, this is our chief designer…”
Lin Zhe raised his hand and interrupted Han Lei’s introduction, looked at me with his watery eyes, tenderly continued, “Xia Ying, long time no see!”
“Oh?” although Han Lei was unhappy being interrupted, but remained expressionless and said, “Seems like you guys are acquainted with each other.”
This sentence was an affirmative sentence.
“Hehe, of course, because my other identity was Xia Ying’s high school counselor.” Lin Zhe remained looking at me tenderly and smiling answered.
Yes, I recognized the man in front of me, this man was called Lin Zhe, he was not only my high school counselor, but was also my first love.
Okay, I admit that I lied, I had previously, altogether, dated six times not five times.
The difference was, only once did I actively pursue someone, the remaining five times were them pursuing me.
And the man that I actively pursued, my first love, was precisely the man who was standing in front of me right now and was our company’s new client.
Recalling my first love with Lin Zhe, it was such a pure and muddled relationship.
That year, I had just entered high school, yet my parents chose this time to leave home, leaving me to fight the three female tigresses that seized my home.
Just when I was experiencing a deep sense of loneliness and uneasiness, Lin Zhe appeared, with the identity of a distinguished high school counselor.
At that time, Lin Zhe was still a big boy, handsome, gentle temperament, not like a teacher, but more like the big brother next-door.
In high school campuses, there was no shortage of girls who longed for a beautiful love, therefore, Lin Zhe became a lot of high school girls’ secret crush and longing, however the children during that generation were very pure and reserved. Even if we like him, we would just hide on the side and watched him from far away, as if that would bring the most sense of satisfaction to us. Lin Ze was touted to be a person who was admired by all, an untouchable idol of the masses.
At the beginning of getting to know Lin Zhe, I completely had no unhealthy intentions or ideas, just simply wanted to share my loneliness and uneasiness in my heart with him.
I will never forget Lin Zhe’s expression when he first saw me, full of shock, joy, and a deep disappointment.
Lin Zhe was an outstanding guidance counselor, was also very responsible, every time I talked to him, I felt my heart being more light, as if getting recharged with electricity, having more energy to fight against the three tyrannical tigeresses. We got along pretty well, as a teacher and as a friend.
With the passage of time, gradually, no matter how dense I was, I discovered that Lin Zhe treated me differently than everyone else, he seemed to care and protect me more, even beyond the simple relationship between a teacher and a student.
Lin Zhe was a man full of charms, of course, I will be moved, hence, when I ascended to sophomore year, I confessed to him. There were no suspense, we started to date, from then, started a pure, muddled trip of love.
Because it was a teacher and student relationship, we were very low-key, until we later broke up, everyone didn’t even know that we had once dated before.
Being together with Lin Zhe was very comfortable, he was always meticulously taking care of me, dispelling the insecurities and frustrations locked in my heart. Sometimes, he even provided me with schemes to oppress the three tigresses.
When we were together, we often avoided familiar people, then lightly held hands, secretly kissed, lightly hugged, everything was so beautiful, even with the superficial kisses, even if the hugs were so light as if it was unrealistic. I still felt that was happiness, but at the same time, my heart was filled with uneasiness. Whenever he looked at me, I always felt that he was seeing someone in me, just like a substitute.
This feeling had always been tied with me, until I confirmed my sixth sense.
After finished studying that evening, a strong force urged me to go into the campus’s dense woods, at that time, the sky was very dark, however the moonlight was very bright, bright enough to clearly let me see a couple tightly embracing each other in the depths of the woods.
Does everyone still remember their first love, or is still together with their first love? First love…is something very special to us because it holds a lot of our pure feelings. We innocently loved them, simply being with them will make us happy, and our heart will go doki-doki. Our faces flushed, entire body warming up, couldn’t look at them in the eye…
But it’s strange, some people act normal around their first love when they meet them again, however I don’t think that is an easy feat for some people. There might be awkwardness, it might be stifling… but if your first love reaches out to you first, don’t avoid them, don’t ignore them, don’t act as if you don’t know them. In the end, you would regret it, “Ah… Why did I do that? If only, if only… I replied back…if only I could go back and redo it once more.”
If only… but there’s no way for us to turn back time, and redo everything. There’s only regret and bitterness…